How do we cope?
How do we let ourselves come to this?
Where did the self-respect go? Self-love, self-esteem?
I wish I knew what is this pain in my chest. This fear of losing it, losing myself. I forgot who I am.
I’m so afraid of being miserably unhappy. And the ironic thing is I know happiness is a choice.
But what if I can’t feel happy when incomplete? When I know I can do more? I just… feel I need to fulfil my soul’s purposes.
I always try to follow my heart, my gut feeling. But now I’m not sure what that is anymore.
I feel this unsettling darkness, this hole where I ended up in, these negative thoughts on my mind all the time.
I’m asking for help. I’m begging for help.
Am I that lost? Or am I stuck in this limbo of negativity around me? These feelings. Are they mine? How can I tell the difference?
I feel like I’m lost in the ocean, struggling to stay afloat, and there’s no lifeboat, no land, no safety…
26th February 2020
