That anxiety you feel…
Is it about the daily life?
Or about all of the rest?
Don’t you feel like you’re out of this world?
It may come without a warning. You feel suddenly too aware from your usual slumber. It scares you. Because you feel the adrenaline, coming through you, making your heartbeat sound louder. Your breath.
Sometimes it may come in many forms, that anxiety. Vertigo, headaches, stomach pain.
And you wonder…
“What is wrong with me?”
Because you don’t understand where does it come from. Because you don’t understand why. And if nothing goes wrong in your life you think “What is wrong with me?”
And I know.
There is nothing wrong with you.
You are not going crazy.
There’s a reason.
Somewhere you find yourself acknowledging this huge world, and all the people living in it.
And if you focus, you can hear the indistinguishable sound of their voices altogether. Sounding like a broken record.
And since most of them speak with such pain and anger, there is so much hate and mess, so many are lost, you suffocate.
It’s too much.
And you ache to run, flee, and you don’t know how, nor where.
But that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. That’s just… you. It’s who you are. You’re sensitive.
If you focus, you can also hear innocence. You can hear laughs. Damn, you can even hear a smile!
And maybe you can focus on the music of birds.
The sound of the wind.
The strength of the oceans. It’s depth.
And even the rain can sometimes annoy you, make you angry.
Or you might stay there, feeling it. Letting it go through your face. You feel its shape folding you.
You focus on its sounds. Even going through human’s buildings either as a flowing waterfall or a musical drop by drop.
And you don’t care if you get wet. You thank every drop on your face. You focus on the wind. You feel it going through your hair.
There are many ways to be thankful. It doesn’t need to be verbalized with words or thoughts.
Being thankful is enjoying it.
And though you suffer from all the things that happened to you or even others. There’s one thing you do, and they don’t. You stop.
You take those moments, you enjoy the present. You feel it speaking to you.
And you do something they all forgot a long time ago.
You live.
20th August 2020
