S4E09 — “Lost and Found”
You are not the problem.
I know you’ve been fighting this. You’ve been trying to deny it. To shut that possibility away.
It’s easier to believe you are the cancer cell, a single piece that needs to be removed. But you are not. You are the healthy cell in a cancerous species. The color in a rotten apple. The clarity in a trash filled sea. You are the sweetness in a bitter pastry. The softness in the tangled hair.
You are not like the rest. And you feel alone. So you admit your flaws and tell everyone and yourself that you are the problem. The X. The variant in a math problem that is messing entire equations. The piece that nobody quite fully understands. But you are the solution that nobody expects.
It’s not you. It is, indeed, the world you are living in, that is ill. And its illness is getting to you. It’s quite a lot to understand that, afterall, you are not crazy. You are overwhelmed. You are tired. You are hurt.
How could you be the flaw, when it’s others that have too much greed, selfishness, and inflict so much pain to everything that surrounds them.
You are a star that doesn’t deserve to witness this much pain. You suffer because you feel. You care. You love.
And that is never a flaw. And as a diamond is only formed by withstanding high pressure, it is in the darkness around you that you’ll begin to notice your light.
Is it easy?
We are all in a difficult place. We all endure difficult traumas, and we keep watching the world fall apart with that suffocating sensation around the chest as we face our impotence. So little power… Such a small soul. Such a fragile body holding a mind that can hardly take it anymore.
There are no boundaries for the warriors and keepers of light. The boundaries you believe in were written by those who can’t see more. The world is as bright as we want it to be. Starting from you.
It doesn’t matter if they cover the light around you. You are a star of your own. It doesn’t matter if they keep cutting your legs, because you have wings to fly. It doesn’t matter if they blindfold you because your soul doesn’t need eyes to see.
I know you feel lost.
But you have just been found. Not alone, not a waste, not a wreck.
You are just looking for a home. The place where you belong. And you feel like it’s not here, on Earth.
But I’ve found… home is rather a feeling that a place. And because your true feelings are focused on love, peace, care, companionship, empathy, you feel anywhere but home in this world.
Try to remember that your memory of home is right within you. In your soul, your heart, your instinct.
Deep there, you know the truth. You know you. And you know you are not the bad cell.
And I hope you know, most of all, that you are not the only one. Members of this tribe are lost everywhere waiting to be found, and to slowly build a home, by being who you all, truly, are.
31st October 2021