“Hello, my friend.
How have you been?
Decided to go for a walk, get some air?”
This void was side walking me.
“So, tell me…
Do you still fear me?”
It had a deep cold voice, and failed at times, like if it was sick.
“Remember the emptiness? That void in there?
How do you keep me away?
Are you avoiding me?”
As I pondered the question, I couldn’t help but notice how it sounded theatrical, beautiful almost.
“Are you? Afraid of me?
Remember when you looked at those stars? How empty they felt. How cold they made the air for you even in the Summer?
Are you afraid of falling into the darkness surrounding them again?”
That darkness is what makes them shine.
“I wish you no harm or pain, my friend, you… fascinate me.
With all your flaws, there’s still drive, determination. I merged around you, in you and out of you and there was always that frail light, in a deeper chamber. Like an old, old place where someone was keeping that flame on, no matter how dim it was. Glass around to prevent any tiny blow from putting it out. Even when your own existence didn’t matter to you, it was your duty to others that kept it out, kept you in.”
I remained silent. I was afraid of it. To slip into it at any small misstep. Yet I was calm.
“Hum… Always so dignified, ignoring me. Look how she walks! So gentle.
So frail and fearless. How damaged you look. With all those insecurities, that heart that only desires love. A soul not fit for this world.
I told you before. I mean no harm. You didn’t fight me or pushed me away. You… understood me.
At some point you stopped rejecting me and realized I could never shut that light.
I will always be part of you, my dear. The darkness, the fear, the insecurity. I was there in every moment in your life. I know all about you.
Do you still fear me?”
No. I fear only myself.
21st March 2022
